My detour down to Oklahoma satisfied the way only Oklahoma can. I got to meet up with Hillary in her native environment and make her do stuff like walk around the cemetery just outside of Mannford looking for Lee Hazlewood, snoop around a little oil well, and go have dinner at Shortcakes with the increasingly celebrated McFarlins. It sure was nice to see Lee and Diane again four years after they so eagerly lead Laura and me into the waters of Lake Carl Blackwell and the world of noodling. If you're wondering what Lee's been up to or what he's up to now, here are a couple of links that might interest you.

http://www.okienoodling.com/okienoodling2/index.html

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=368428329

China flashback #2

I don't know much about what was going on. I know I was headed south and they encouraged me to wait for the bus with them. I know I had to pose with them in various photographs. I know that when I came out of the supermarket with my breakfast we witnessed a small car accident. I remember the kid with the cigarette disappeared for a time and then returned with a taxi van. I'm sure it wasn't long after we loaded into the vehicle that our driver was confronted by an officer of the law, and at that point he drove us all over to the police station. We never saw that driver again. I'm certain these kids dictated some kind of statement while I wondered back and forth from the taxi and the office where all this was taking place several times over a period of a long time. I recall getting into the front passenger seat a policeman's car and being driven down to the dock along the Mekong River. At one point I asked if we were going to a particular city and got shushed by the youngsters. As soon as the officer had driven away from the dock we all hurried into another taxi and left the river with the speed of thieves. I know we were pretty uncomfortable packed in this new taxi and the fighting cock was taking up more space than that one woman would have liked. We definitely sang along to "Yesterday Once More" three and half times. And the taxi sure didn't take us all the way to where I wanted to go.

Blind

"And if you saw with my eyes, you'd see what self-deception means."

Wonderfully brutal lyrics by Michael Gira.

signs along the way

Things got strange once I hit Kansas - strange for me anyway. I began seeing signs for things that I hadn't been exposed to before. If I had to judge from the signs and billboards posted along I-70 I'd say the folks in Kansas care a lot about getting you saved in the Kingdom of God and making sure all fetuses get there too. It's not a bad goal, really. The folks in Oklahoma must have a tendency to fish off highway bridges. The Missourians have placed a lot of adult shops along the freeway, but I'd never go in them. One billboard had a picture indicating wheelchair access and I couldn't help but think of shopping in such a place with Gramma 'n Grampa. Then there was the "UP TO 6XL" that troubled me deeply. For the life of me I couldn't imagine what someone wearing a garment that large would look like, and I hope real life never forces me to find out. Missouri also marked the real beginning of innumerable displays of Waffle House advertising. But my favorite sign was a road sign in Pennsylvania that read

"Buckle up
next million miles!"

Since when did we put so much attitude in our road signs?

My few days on Maui have provided amble opportunities to converse with various self-proclaimed hippies. I really learned a lot from them and look forward to future contact with their kind.

Calvin, a man claiming to be the offspring of Def Leppard, when talking about the Oklahoma City bombing remembered things like this: "What was that dude's name again? Deuchebag McDeuchebag? Wayne, man, do you got any herb, bro?" Here on Maui there are a lot of bros. There are also a lot of puka shells.

John, a 51-year-old swinging by the end of his rope, made this comment upon seeing two fairly attractive girls walking on the beach: "Listen, Wayne, you really gotta get yourself a B-otch - I like saying B-otch, it just makes sense." And right now you're wondering "was he saying 'B-otch' or the other word?" and, as it turns out, he was saying B-otch, otherwise it wouldn't make sense.

i definitely wish i was this elephant, at least then i'd understand two more things than i understand right now: people and the future