signs along the way

Things got strange once I hit Kansas - strange for me anyway. I began seeing signs for things that I hadn't been exposed to before. If I had to judge from the signs and billboards posted along I-70 I'd say the folks in Kansas care a lot about getting you saved in the Kingdom of God and making sure all fetuses get there too. It's not a bad goal, really. The folks in Oklahoma must have a tendency to fish off highway bridges. The Missourians have placed a lot of adult shops along the freeway, but I'd never go in them. One billboard had a picture indicating wheelchair access and I couldn't help but think of shopping in such a place with Gramma 'n Grampa. Then there was the "UP TO 6XL" that troubled me deeply. For the life of me I couldn't imagine what someone wearing a garment that large would look like, and I hope real life never forces me to find out. Missouri also marked the real beginning of innumerable displays of Waffle House advertising. But my favorite sign was a road sign in Pennsylvania that read

"Buckle up
next million miles!"

Since when did we put so much attitude in our road signs?